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Friday, April 20, 2012

The Universe Knows

For my birthday last year, my sister got me a lavender mug that says on one side "Blessings are Everywhere," and on the other "The Universe Knows." I really should be drinking from this mug every morning... literally and figuratively!

I was talking with a friend last week about how I have a hard time just being myself. There are a lot of things I've internalized that tell me that I'm not "allowed" to be the carefree, silly, small-pleasures-loving woman that I am. I've gotten much better at being myself and I've stopped apologizing to everyone all the time for who I am, but some days it's still a struggle.

Right after this conversation I sat down to watch Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain with the SO. It had been a really, really long time since I'd seen it (possibly just after it had come out? so we're talking 10+ years). I didn't remember much (I'm pretty sure I didn't understand it very well the first time around) besides the fact that the movie was beautiful to look at. We put it on because SO had never seen it at all and we felt like watching a movie, which we've rarely done lately.

I'm not here to summarize or say anything about the film besides this: it was just a perfectly timed thing. Watching Amelie at this particular point in my life, and especially right after that conversation with my friend, seemed like a message from the universe. You are on the right track. You should be yourself and indulge in the things that make you happy. And there is nothing on earth wrong with picking up stones to keep in your pockets for skipping (or putting around the house on windowsills).

I like to believe there is something larger than me, guiding my life. It's not god, per se. Maybe it's just some hyper-aware subconscious sense that allows me to interpret the events of my life and draw meaning from them. I'd be okay if it were only that, because hot damn if that wouldn't be a miracle of science and the almost magical way our brains function. But I often wonder if it's not a bit more.

Anyhow, just walking around today secure in the knowledge that I am on the right path and that it is 100% okay for me to be myself since I'm pretty sure no one else could do the job.

Happy day, folks!